New Songs for Your Seder

New Songs to Old Tunes

SOMEWHERE OUT IN THE MOONLIGHT (2023)

As a child, occasionally my grandpa would pick me up from school in his pre-war Austin car and drive me to his house for afternoon tea. My granny would have the radio on (the ‘wireless’, as we called it then) in the kitchen while she worked. It was a large box which sat on top of the fridge. One day I listened to a programme called ‘Desert Island Discs’ and heard Judy Garland singing ‘Somewhere over the Rainbow.’ I was enchanted. It was only many many years later that I discovered that the song came from ‘The Wizard of Oz’ and only recently that I realised that the words were written by a Jewish composer, Yip Harburg, born Isidore Hochberg on New York’s Lower East Side in 1896 to Yiddish speaking parents. He was a lifelong critic of religion, so I have tried to make my adaption in a secular vein, while retaining something of the simplicity of his original lyrics. I feel this song contains such wistfulness and longing, just as we find in so many other songs from American musicals written by Jewish composers and lyricists.

The original (1939) is at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oW2QZ7KuaxA

Introductory words: Some place where there aren’t any slaves. Do you suppose there is such a place? There must be!

It’s not a place you can get to by a boat or a caravan of camels – it’s far far away – behind the moon, beyond the desert.. maybe..

Somewhere, out in the moonlight,

Through the sea

There’s a land that we long for

Where we will all be free.

Somewhere, out in the daylight,

There’s a way

where the land that we dream of

will be our place to stay.

One day we’ll gaze upon a star
And run away with Pharaoh far behind us
Our cup of joy has overflowed

Our time will come, we’ll find a road
That’s where you’ll find us

Somewhere out in the moonlight
Eagles fly
Maybe their wings could just lift us
Right up into the sky

Somewhere out in the desert
Eagles fly
They can fly far through the desert
Why then, oh, why can’t I?

(music)

If wondrous golden eagles fly
Across the desert
Why, oh why can’t I?

SONG FOR UKRAINE 2022 (Tune: Nich yaka misyachna / What a Moonlit Night)

Come, my beloved, let’s stroll through the garden, here under the bright evening star,

Come my beloved, our journey is over so here let us build our chuppah.

Let us remember, in building our future, that we are descendants of slaves,

fled out of Egypt in haste and in poverty, wondrously passed through the waves,

fled out of Egypt in haste and in poverty, wondrously passed through the waves.

Carry the message of hope and of refuge, to all fleeing war in our day:

Be not afraid, for the moonlight will guide you,

Just as it showed us the way.

Be not afraid, for the moonlight will guide you,

Just as it showed us the way.

(prayer for Ukraine as the music plays)

Come, my beloved, let’s stroll through the garden, here under the bright evening star,

Come my beloved, our journey is over so here let us build our chuppah,

Come my beloved, our journey is over so here let us build our chuppah.

OTHER SONGS FOR THE FIRST PART OF THE SEDER, before Dayyeinu

Some of these are old favourites of ours, which have been widely available on the internet for many years.

1. THERE’S NO SEDER LIKE OUR SEDER
(Tune: “There’s no Business like Show Business”)

Karaoke music

There’s no seder like our seder,
There’s no seder I know.
Everything about it is Halachic
nothing that the Torah won’t allow.
Listen how we read the whole Haggadah
It’s all in Hebrew
‘Cause we know how.

There’s no Seder like our seder,
We tell a tale that is swell:
Moses took the people out into the heat
They baked the matzoh
While on their feet
Now isn’t that a story
That just can’t be beat?
Let’s go on with the show!

2. THOSE WERE THE PLAGUES

(tune of “Those Were the Days”)

Once upon a time in Pharaoh’s palace,
Mo’ and Aaron raised a rod or two.
Remember how they brought ten plagues on Egypt,
Until the tyrant said that he was through.

CHORUS:

Those were the plagues my friend, we thought they’d bring an end,
To hauling bricks we made of straw and clay.
Pharaoh was dealt a blow, and let our people go,
So we were free and sure to have our way!

Ya di di di di di, Ya di di di di di, Ya di di di, Ya di di di di di.
Those were the plagues,
oh yes, those were the plagues.

First, God made the water turn all bloody—
The fishes in the Nile did rather stink.
Rivers, ponds and even bowls turned cruddy,
And not a single drop was left to drink.

The second plague of frogs turned out no better,
With bouncy little critters all around.
The only ones that lived were in the river—
The rest became a big green, smelly mound!

CHORUS

Moses and the Lord kept pressing Pharaoh—
With lice, and flies, and then a cattle blight.
Boils and hail and locusts didn’t sway him,
And then God made the day as dark as night.
On the door we finally smeared some lamb’s blood,
And prepared the first Passover feast.
The Lord struck down the firstborn
throughout Egypt—
Sparing not a child nor any beast.

CHORUS

3. JUST A TAD OF  CHAROSET

Just a Tad of Charoset
(Tune: “Just a spoon full of sugar“)

Karaoke music

Chorus:
Just a tad of charoset helps the bitter herbs go down,
The bitter herbs go down, the bitter herbs go down.
Just a tad of charoset helps the bitter herbs go down,
In the most disguising way.

Oh, back in Egypt long ago,
The Jews were slaves under Pharaoh.
They sweat and toiled and labored
through the day.
So when we gather Pesach night,
We do what we think right.
Maror, we chew,
To feel what they went through.

Chorus

So after years of slavery
They saw no chance of being free.
Their suffering was the only life they knew.
But baby Moses grew up tall,
And said he’d save them all.
He did, and yet,
We swear we won’t forget.
That……

Chorus

While the maror is being passed,
We all refill our water glass,
Preparing for the taste that turns us red.
Although maror seems full of minuses,
It sure does clear our sinuses.
But what’s to do?
It’s hard to be a Jew!!!

Chorus

4. Don’t Sit On the Afikomen Deborah Katchko-Gray

6. FREEDOM THEY CRY (Tune: Feed the Birds from “Mary Poppins”)

Early one day on the bank of the Nile
The young little princess steps down
Finding a basket afloat in the reeds
She wraps the young boy in her gown.

Come feed the little boy, show him you care
And you’ll be glad if you do
His people are hungry, their poor homes are bare
All it takes is some kindness from you.

Bitter their herbs, salty their tears,
“Freedom, freedom, freedom” they cry
Frogs and lice locusts and flies
Then overhead the dark fills the skies.

Now all around Egypt the people are crying
The angel of death passes near
The blood on our doorposts, it saves us from dying
And trusting in God, we’ve no fear.

Though our questions are simple and few
Listen, listen, this night is for you.
Tasty their lamb and hasty their bread
“Freedom freedom freedom ahead”.

Though our questions are simple and few
Listen, listen, this night is for you.
Tasty their lamb and hasty their bread
“Freedom freedom freedom ahead”.

7.  WE’RE ON THE BED OF THE SEA  (Tune: Top of the world)

All those years in Egypt under guard,
And the slave industry was oh-so hard,
Not a cloud in the sky, and the sun in my eye,
And the slave-drivers were shouting really loud.

Along came Moses bringing all the plagues,
Said to Pharaoh now, “Please let my people go—
I’ll turn water to blood, and bring hail to flood,”
But Pharaoh just kept saying “No! No! No!”

CHORUS:

We’re on the bed of the sea walking through the stormy waters,
And the only reason we can understand,
Is that slavery is gone ever since God came along,
And so we wander through the sea on dry land.

One day we were told to fetch a lamb,
Unheard of since the days of Abraham—
And to keep it out of sight, and then bake it at night,
And to eat it with our staves in our hand.

We remember well that midnight hour,
All the firstborn of Egypt in God’s power,
Our first night on the run, till the rise of the sun,
And the baking of the matzah from our flour.

CHORUS

Following the cloud during the day
And the fire at night till we got clean away —
Till the end of the track, with Pharaoh at our back,
And the raging sea in front barring our way!

Then we cried to Moses, “We will die!”
But he lifted up his rod at our cry,
And the waters did part, so our journey could restart,
And we marched into the sea while staying dry!

CHORUS TWICE

8. THE SEVEN/EIGHT NIGHTS OF PESACH  Tune: “The Twelve days of Christmas”

Note: Alternate mother and father from verse to verse

Extra verse for those who keep an eighth night.

On the first night of Pesach my mother/father fed to me
1. a banquet that was chametz-free
2. two dipped herbs
3. three bits of matzah
4. four cups of wine
5. five macaroons
6. six light pavlovas
7. seven chocolate roulades
(8. eight lemon sorbets)

On the night after Pesach my father/mother fed to me
(nine kinds of pasta)
eight types of biscuit
seven tots of whisky
six bowls of muesli
five pints of beer
four sandwiches
three hot dogs
two sausage rolls
and a fresh-ly baked bagel for tea.

FOR THE END OF THE SEDER

NEXT YEAR IN JERUSALEM

EXTRA SONGS:

THE HAGGADAH IS JUST THE BOOK (NEW FOR 2021) (Tune: “The cover is not the book” from Mary Poppins Returns)

Prof Frankenberg was a bookworm
And he lived near Stoke on Trent
The memory of his volumes brings a smile
He had an eye for stories
Old and new and in between
Now I’d like to share the wisdom
Of my favourite bibliophile
He said Ha
gadah is just the book
So open it up and take a look
‘Cause under the covers one discovers
That ol’ Pharaoh is a crook:
Tell the story, spill the wine
And if you question every line
You’ll find that seder night is really fine –
The Haggadah is nice
Haggadah is just the book!
Ta-ru-ra-lee, ta-ra-ta-ta-ta!
Ta-ru-ra-lee, ta-ra-ta-ta-ta!
Rabbi Michael, could you give us a sample?
Certainly..

Pharaoh’s daughter went to bathe
But what could not be seen was just
A basket floating nearby
In the reeds so lush and green,
And so when Miriam saw she’d found
The baby Moses floating there
She made the princess love the babe
And take him home to care
Which proves
The Haggadah is just the book
So open it up and take a look
‘Cause under the covers one discovers
That ol’ Pharaoh is a crook:
Tell the story, spill the wine
And if you question every line
You’ll find that seder night is really fine –
The Haggadah is nice
Haggadah is just the book!
Shall we tell the one about the plague of frogs?
Oh do!
Always loved that one
Well, go on then!
When Pharaoh woke one day
He found frogs had come to play
Throughout the land of Egypt
They just would not go away:
So Pharaoh called to Moses
To have mercy on his folk
But nobody could hear him
Above the froggies’ croak!
Which proves
The Haggadah is just the book
So open it up and take a look
‘Cause under the covers one discovers
That ol’ Pharaoh is a crook:
Tell the story, spill the wine
And if you question every line
You’ll find that seder night is really fine –
The Haggadah is nice
Haggadah is just the book!
Oh tell us the one about the Pesach shopping, why don’t ya?
Isn’t that one a bit long?
Well the sooner you start it, the sooner you get over it..

(deep breath).. Once upon a time
In a Tesco’s line
Stood a family with their trolleys
Thinking everything was fine
Cause they’d seen the kosher sign
and taken ten of everything
They had veg and fruit and brine
Loads of matzah eggs and wine
But the shelves were looking bare
Egad!
Because they loved to overeat

And would never miss a treat
They would dine on fifteen courses
Though that was quite a feat
So the head of the store
Made a new rule and law
For the Pesach shoppers
No more special offers
Put your goods in a pile
And just leave them in the aisle
If I see you here again
And it doesn’t matter when
We’ll just have to close the store
And put padlocks on the door
You are being an abuse-ance
Cause you took so much Rakusens
So much eggy stuff and nut
Will make havoc of your gut
You need fibre in your tummy
To keep it nice and runny:
And then suddenly just then
They could hear the rabbi shout
Saying “I’m the one in charge here
and you schmendricks must get out!”
But the family clutched their goods
For they loved their matzah puds,
But the rabbi had some rules
They should really teach in shuls,
About sharing all they bought
So no-one would go short
With out the things they need
To celebrate the freed:
So enjoy what you’ve got
It doesn’t have to be a lot
Just eat up every prune
At the Passover full moon
So the moral is you mustn’t let
Your stomach be the guide
For it’s not so cut and dried
When you see it from inside
And you run away to hide
Petrified!
No the truth can’t be denied
As I now have testified –
All that matters when you look
Is the message in the book!
So that’s it!
Oh, the Haggadah is just the book
So open it up and take a look,
Cause under the covers one discovers
That ol’ Pharaoh is a crook:
So please listen to what is fair
And plan your shopping with more care
So one more time before we get the hook
(Sing it out strong)
The Haggadah is nice
Please take our advice
The Haggadah is nice
Or you’ll pay the price
The Haggadah is nice
Haggadah is just the book
Ta-ru-ra-lee, ta-ru-ra-la-la
Ta-ru-ra-lee, ta-ru-ra-la-la
Ta-ru-ra-lee, ta-ru-ra-la-la, la, la!

NEW FOR 2019