New Songs for Your Seder

New Songs to Old Tunes

FOR THE START OF AN ONLINE SEDER 2021

1. WE’RE HERE (Tune: Lennon/McCartney “I will”)

You know how long we’ve waited
Throughout another year
Hoping for the joy of Pesach
All together, full of cheer.

For if we ever saw you
It didn’t seem a crime
To just part and then keep waiting
Waiting till our seder time

Love you forever and forever
Love you with all our hearts
Love you whenever we’re together
Love you when we’re apart

This year’s a time unusual
We have to meet online
Zooming loud so we can hear you
Singing loud so we can cheer you
May the things we do endear us to you
At this time of year
We’re here!

LYRICS BY UNKNOWN AUTHORS

Our first songs are old favourites of ours, which have been widely available on the internet for many years.

2. THERE’S NO SEDER LIKE OUR SEDER
(Tune: “There’s no Business like Show Business”)

Karaoke music

There’s no seder like our seder,
There’s no seder I know.
Everything about it is Halachic
nothing that the Torah won’t allow.
Listen how we read the whole Haggadah
It’s all in Hebrew
‘Cause we know how.

There’s no Seder like our seder,
We tell a tale that is swell:
Moses took the people out into the heat
They baked the matzoh
While on their feet
Now isn’t that a story
That just can’t be beat?
Let’s go on with the show!

3. THESE ARE A FEW OF MY PASSOVER THINGS

(to the tune of “These are a few of my favorite things”)

Cleaning and cooking and so many dishes
Out with the hametz, no pasta, no knishes
Fish that’s gefillted, horseradish that stings
These are a few of our passover things.

Matzoh and karpas and chopped up charoset
Shankbones and kiddish and yiddish neuroses
Tante who kvetches and uncle who sings
These are a few of our Passover things.

Motzi and maror and trouble with Pharoahs
Famines and locusts and slaves with wheelbarrows
Matzah balls floating and eggshell that cling
These are a few of our Passover things.

When the plagues strike
When the lice bite
When we’re feeling sad
We simply remember our Passover things
And then we don’t feel so bad.

4. THOSE WERE THE PLAGUES

(tune of “Those Were the Days”)

Once upon a time in Pharaoh’s palace,
Mo’ and Aaron raised a rod or two.
Remember how they brought ten plagues on Egypt,
Until the tyrant said that he was through.

CHORUS:

Those were the plagues my friend, we thought they’d bring an end,
To hauling bricks we made of straw and clay.
Pharaoh was dealt a blow, and let our people go,
So we were free and sure to have our way!

Ya di di di di di, Ya di di di di di, Ya di di di, Ya di di di di di.
Those were the plagues,
oh yes, those were the plagues.

First, God made the water turn all bloody—
The fishes in the Nile did rather stink.
Rivers, ponds and even bowls turned cruddy,
And not a single drop was left to drink.

The second plague of frogs turned out no better,
With bouncy little critters all around.
The only ones that lived were in the river—
The rest became a big green, smelly mound!

CHORUS

Moses and the Lord kept pressing Pharaoh—
With lice, and flies, and then a cattle blight.
Boils and hail and locusts didn’t sway him,
And then God made the day as dark as night.
On the door we finally smeared some lamb’s blood,
And prepared the first Passover feast.
The Lord struck down the firstborn
throughout Egypt—
Sparing not a child nor any beast.

CHORUS

5. Don’t Sit On the Afikomen Deborah Katchko-Gray

My dad at every Seder breaks a matzah piece in two
And hides the afikoman as a game for me and you
Hide it, hold it ransom or the seder isn’t through
Till the afikoman’s found
Don’t sit on the Afikoman
Don’t sit on the Afikoman
Don’t sit on the Afikoman
Or the meal will last all night
One year daddy hid it ‘neath a pillow on a chair
And just as I raced over
My aunt Sophie sat down there
She  threw herself upon it
Awful crunching filled the air
And crumbs flew all around.
Don’t sit on the Afikoman
Don’t sit on the Afikoman
Don’t sit on the Afikoman
Or the meal will last all night
There were matzah crumbs all over
Oh it was a messy sight
We swept up all the pieces
Though it took us half the night
So if you want your seder ending sooner then dawn’s light
Don’t sit on the Afikoman –
Don’t sit on the Afikoman
Don’t sit on the Afikoman
Don’t sit on the Afikoman
Or the meal will last all night.
LYRICS WRITTEN OR ADAPTED BY MICHAEL HILTON

6. FREEDOM THEY CRY (Tune: Feed the Birds from “Mary Poppins”)

Early one day on the bank of the Nile
The young little princess steps down
Finding a basket afloat in the reeds
She wraps the young boy in her gown.

Come feed the little boy, show him you care
And you’ll be glad if you do
His people are hungry, their poor homes are bare
All it takes is some kindness from you.

Bitter their herbs, salty their tears,
“Freedom, freedom, freedom” they cry
Frogs and lice locusts and flies
Then overhead the dark fills the skies.

Now all around Egypt the people are crying
The angel of death passes near
The blood on our doorposts, it saves us from dying
And trusting in God, we’ve no fear.

Though our questions are simple and few
Listen, listen, this night is for you.
Tasty their lamb and hasty their bread
“Freedom freedom freedom ahead”.

Though our questions are simple and few
Listen, listen, this night is for you.
Tasty their lamb and hasty their bread
“Freedom freedom freedom ahead”.

7. THE HAGGADAH IS JUST THE BOOK (NEW FOR 2021) (Tune: “The cover is not the book” from Mary Poppins Returns)

Prof Frankenberg was a bookworm
And he lived near Stoke on Trent
The memory of his volumes brings a smile
He had an eye for stories
Old and new and in between
Now I’d like to share the wisdom
Of my favourite bibliophile
He said Ha
gadah is just the book
So open it up and take a look
‘Cause under the covers one discovers
That ol’ Pharaoh is a crook:
Tell the story, spill the wine
And if you question every line
You’ll find that seder night is really fine –
The Haggadah is nice
Haggadah is just the book!
Ta-ru-ra-lee, ta-ra-ta-ta-ta!
Ta-ru-ra-lee, ta-ra-ta-ta-ta!
Rabbi Michael, could you give us a sample?
Certainly..

Pharaoh’s daughter went to bathe
But what could not be seen was just
A basket floating nearby
In the reeds so lush and green,
And so when Miriam saw she’d found
The baby Moses floating there
She made the princess love the babe
And take him home to care
Which proves
The Haggadah is just the book
So open it up and take a look
‘Cause under the covers one discovers
That ol’ Pharaoh is a crook:
Tell the story, spill the wine
And if you question every line
You’ll find that seder night is really fine –
The Haggadah is nice
Haggadah is just the book!
Shall we tell the one about the plague of frogs?
Oh do!
Always loved that one
Well, go on then!
When Pharaoh woke one day
He found frogs had come to play
Throughout the land of Egypt
They just would not go away:
So Pharaoh called to Moses
To have mercy on his folk
But nobody could hear him
Above the froggies’ croak!
Which proves
The Haggadah is just the book
So open it up and take a look
‘Cause under the covers one discovers
That ol’ Pharaoh is a crook:
Tell the story, spill the wine
And if you question every line
You’ll find that seder night is really fine –
The Haggadah is nice
Haggadah is just the book!
Oh tell us the one about the Pesach shopping, why don’t ya?
Isn’t that one a bit long?
Well the sooner you start it, the sooner you get over it..

(deep breath).. Once upon a time
In a Tesco’s line
Stood a family with their trolleys
Thinking everything was fine
Cause they’d seen the kosher sign
and taken ten of everything
They had veg and fruit and brine
Loads of matzah eggs and wine
But the shelves were looking bare
Egad!
Because they loved to overeat

And would never miss a treat
They would dine on fifteen courses
Though that was quite a feat
So the head of the store
Made a new rule and law
For the Pesach shoppers
No more special offers
Put your goods in a pile
And just leave them in the aisle
If I see you here again
And it doesn’t matter when
We’ll just have to close the store
And put padlocks on the door
You are being an abuse-ance
Cause you took so much Rakusens
So much eggy stuff and nut
Will make havoc of your gut
You need fibre in your tummy
To keep it nice and runny:
And then suddenly just then
They could hear the rabbi shout
Saying “I’m the one in charge here
and you schmendricks must get out!”
But the family clutched their goods
For they loved their matzah puds,
But the rabbi had some rules
They should really teach in shuls,
About sharing all they bought
So no-one would go short
With out the things they need
To celebrate the freed:
So enjoy what you’ve got
It doesn’t have to be a lot
Just eat up every prune
At the Passover full moon
So the moral is you mustn’t let
Your stomach be the guide
For it’s not so cut and dried
When you see it from inside
And you run away to hide
Petrified!
No the truth can’t be denied
As I now have testified –
All that matters when you look
Is the message in the book!
So that’s it!
Oh, the Haggadah is just the book
So open it up and take a look,
Cause under the covers one discovers
That ol’ Pharaoh is a crook:
So please listen to what is fair
And plan your shopping with more care
So one more time before we get the hook
(Sing it out strong)
The Haggadah is nice
Please take our advice
The Haggadah is nice
Or you’ll pay the price
The Haggadah is nice
Haggadah is just the book
Ta-ru-ra-lee, ta-ru-ra-la-la
Ta-ru-ra-lee, ta-ru-ra-la-la
Ta-ru-ra-lee, ta-ru-ra-la-la, la, la!

FIND THE AFIKOMAN IN THESE PICTURES

FOR THE END OF THE SEDER IN 2020 and 2021

“We should take comfort that while we may have more still to endure, better days will return: we will be with our friends again; we will be with our families again; we will meet again.” Her Majesty The Queen, 5th April, 2020.

Songwriters: Hughie Charles / Ross Parker © Universal Music Publishing Group

8. SOLO THEN REPEAT ALL TOGETHER

We’ll meet again
Don’t know where
Don’t know when
But I know we’ll meet again some sunny day
Keep smiling through
Just like you always do
‘Till the blue skies drive the dark clouds far away

So will you please say hello
To the folks that I know
Tell them I won’t be long
They’ll be happy to know
That as you saw me go
I was singing this song

We’ll meet again
Don’t know where
Don’t know when
But I know we’ll meet again some sunny day

Source: LyricFind

NEXT YEAR IN JERUSALEM

EXTRA SONGS:

WE’RE ON THE BED OF THE SEA  (Tune: Top of the world)

All those years in Egypt under guard,
And the slave industry was oh-so hard,
Not a cloud in the sky, and the sun in my eye,
And the slave-drivers were shouting really loud.

Along came Moses bringing all the plagues,
Said to Pharaoh now, “Please let my people go—
I’ll turn water to blood, and bring hail to flood,”
But Pharaoh just kept saying “No! No! No!”

CHORUS:

We’re on the bed of the sea walking through the stormy waters,
And the only reason we can understand,
Is that slavery is gone ever since God came along,
And so we wander through the sea on dry land.

One day we were told to fetch a lamb,
Unheard of since the days of Abraham—
And to keep it out of sight, and then bake it at night,
And to eat it with our staves in our hand.

We remember well that midnight hour,
All the firstborn of Egypt in God’s power,
Our first night on the run, till the rise of the sun,
And the baking of the matzah from our flour.

CHORUS

Following the cloud during the day
And the fire at night till we got clean away —
Till the end of the track, with Pharaoh at our back,
And the raging sea in front barring our way!

Then we cried to Moses, “We will die!”
But he lifted up his rod at our cry,
And the waters did part, so our journey could restart,
And we marched into the sea while staying dry!

CHORUS TWICE

THE SEVEN/EIGHT NIGHTS OF PESACH  Tune: “The Twelve days of Christmas”

Note: Alternate mother and father from verse to verse

Extra verse for those who keep an eighth night.

On the first night of Pesach my mother/father fed to me
1. a banquet that was chametz-free
2. two dipped herbs
3. three bits of matzah
4. four cups of wine
5. five macaroons
6. six light pavlovas
7. seven chocolate roulades
(8. eight lemon sorbets)

On the night after Pesach my father/mother fed to me
(nine kinds of pasta)
eight types of biscuit
seven tots of whisky
six bowls of muesli
five pints of beer
four sandwiches
three hot dogs
two sausage rolls
and a fresh-ly baked bagel for tea.

JUST A TAD OF  CHAROSET

Just a Tad of Charoset
(Tune: “Just a spoon full of sugar“)

Karaoke music

Chorus:
Just a tad of charoset helps the bitter herbs go down,
The bitter herbs go down, the bitter herbs go down.
Just a tad of charoset helps the bitter herbs go down,
In the most disguising way.

Oh, back in Egypt long ago,
The Jews were slaves under Pharoah.
They sweat and toiled and labored
through the day.
So when we gather Pesach night,
We do what we think right.
Maror, we chew,
To feel what they went through.

Chorus

So after years of slavery
They saw no chance of being free.
Their suffering was the only life they knew.
But baby Moses grew up tall,
And said he’d save them all.
He did, and yet,
We swear we won’t forget.
That……

Chorus

While the maror is being passed,
We all refill our water glass,
Preparing for the taste that turns us red.
Although maror seems full of minuses,
It sure does clear our sinuses.
But what’s to do?
It’s hard to be a Jew!!!

Chorus

NEW FOR 2019

THERE’S NOWHERE TO GO BUT OUT! (Tune: There’s nowhere to go but up!  from “Mary Poppins Returns”)

Life’s like a cloud
That tumbles or rises
Depending on what’s in the air.
Leave Egypt with hope
And joyful surmises,
And then my good friends
A good future we’ll share —

Just follow that cloud
As we all sing aloud
There’s nowhere to go but out!
Pack your dough on your backs
And your things in your sacks
There’s nowhere to go but out!

If the time feels right
In the midnight moonlight
After 400 years
Your heart will take flight
In the depth of the night
If you keep out of sight
There’s nowhere to go but out!

SOLO:    Now — I feel light and free
It’s a shiny new me
And there’s nowhere to go but out!
Just one night at the feast
With my matzah – no yeast –
And there’s nowhere to go but out!
Now my heart is so light
That I think I just might
Start skipping along
To my new seder song
We’ll be leaving quite soon
By the light of the moon
And there’s nowhere to go but out!

ALL: We’re running and dancing
Our feet ever prancing
As we make our way through the crowd
All this bobbing and weaving
All comes from believing
It’s magic to follow the cloud.
The past is the past
It lives on as history
And that’s an important thing
The future comes fast
Each second a mystery
For nobody knows what
Tomorrow may bring —

Out there in the blue
With a marvellous view
Tomorrow may be the key
Once I couldn’t get out
Now I’m out and about
We’ll journey to reach the sea

Now my heart is so light
That I think I just might
Start skipping along
To my new seder song
We’ll be leaving quite soon
By the light of the moon
And there’s nowhere to go but out!

If your night’s up the spout
Well there isn’t a doubt
There’s nowhere to go but out!
And if you don’t believe
Just hang on to my sleeve
For there’s nowhere to go but out!
As you march out of town
And you never change tack
Then we’ll all get away
If we never look back
Let the past take a bow
The forever is now
And there’s nowhere to go but out! Out!
There’s nowhere to go but out!

(Practically perfect in every way)

THE HUMBLE JEW LIVES STILL  (Tune: The Rains of Castamere, from “Game of Thrones”)

And who are you, Elijah said,
that I must bow so low?
Only tonight in my old coat,
That’s all the truth I know.

The priests of Baal called on their gods
To light their altars high
While I poured water all around
And called on ADONAI.

And so they ruled, and went to war
Their enemies to kill —
But now their kingdoms are but dust,
The humble Jew lives still,
But now their kingdoms are but dust,
The humble Jew lives still.

NEW IN 2018

NIGHT OF THE MOON (Tune: City of Stars from the musical “La La Land”)

Voice 1: Night of the moon
Are you shining just for me?
Night of the moon
There’s so much that we can’t see.
Who knows?
I felt it from that first good food I shared with you
Voice 2: That now our dreams
Will finally come true
Night of the moon
With all the matzah we could get
Hand me a spoon
To dip my maror in the dusky charoset

All: We’re free
Yes, all we want is to be free
From Pharaoh’s grasp
Voice 1: A howl
A throne
Voice 2: A herb
A bone
All: A fiery column will rise
To light up the skies
To open our world and send it reeling
A voice that says, I’ll be here
And you’ll be all right
I don’t care if I know
Just where I will go
‘Cause all that I need’s a crazy feeling
A rat-tat-tat on my door..
Voice 1: Think I’m ready to go

Night of the moon
Are you shining just for me?
Night of the moon

Voice 2: You never shined so brightly

THIS IS OUR NIGHT (Tune: Any dream will do from “Joseph and his Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat”)

(first verse very slow)

The time’s arrived, I know for certain,
The wait is over, for our freedom flight,
Somewhere outside, someone is weeping,
Nobody’s sleeping,
This is our night.

We pack our bags, (we pack our bags) but there’s no time now (ah ah ah)
To make bread properly, (ah ah) before daylight
But it will bake (but it will bake), in the sun tomorrow (ah ah ah)
Nobody’s sleeping (ah ah)
This is our night.

We’ve baked our lamb, bread without yeast,
We picked our herbs, let’s have our feast!
We’ll wander off into the darkness
Wherever will we go?

Then twice:

The time’s arrived (The time’s arrived), I know for certain (ah ah ah)
The wait is over (ah ah) , for our freedom flight,
Somewhere outside (somewhere outside), someone is weeping (ah ah ah)
Nobody’s sleeping (ah ah)
This is our night.

This is our seder night!
‘Twill live for evermore!

This is our seder night!

‘Twill live for evermore!